Ya know those inklings I prayed for in my last post? I’m getting them. It’s wild. And it’s good. Very, very good……….
*Yesterday as we were leaving church, my husband said that he had this “strange feeling” we should take a sweet couple we know out to lunch. Since we are trying to be more sensitive and responsive to the Spirit in 2010 – we jumped on it. Sitting there chatting with them – I happened to notice the beautiful red fingernail polish that was so wonderfully swept across the lady’s fingernails. I commented on how lovely her nails looked and almost fell out of the booth when she said, “Oh thank you. My husband paints them for me.” I could cry writing about it. You see, this lady is legally blind. She can see certain things – but there is a lot that she can’t make out. The hand-in-hand love they share spoke volumes to me. I don’t know if it’s always been that way for them. I don’t know if they have moments where they struggle with it. But I know that when a man paints his wife’s fingernails – It’s love. It. is. love.
*This morning, I opened up my Bible – with high hopes of finding some nugget of inspirational truth – and a nugget of inspirational truth is exactly what I found. My eyes were lead directly to this:
Teach me to do your will for you are my God. May your gracious Spirit lead me forward on a firm footing. (Psalm 143:10)
I didn’t seek out this verse. I didn’t go searching for a verse like this one. It found me. And I will have you know, being the skeptic that I am, I have been known to roll my eyes when people say that God lead them to a certain verse and what not – but y’all – God lead me to that verse. And I felt like He was saying, “Make it yours this year, Kate.” With some of the things I happen to be dealing with in life right now – being lead forward on firm footing – sounds perfect.
*As I’ve mentioned numerous times here on my blog – I doubt. You might as well call me Thomas. It drives me crazy. It drives the people around me crazy. My questions are endless. I have new curiosities about the Christian faith with each new sunrise. I have things written in the margins of my Bible that my grandmother slapped my hand for. Things like, “Are you kidding me?”….“How could God let this happen?”…..and…..“What????”. To make myself feel better, I also want you to know that I have things written in the margins of my Bible like, “Lord, help me to remember this.”….and…. “The Bible is perfectly enough.” So don’t think I go around writing bad things in my Bible everyday. And don’t feel too bad for me either -because all of my doubting is kind of a blessing and a curse all wrapped up in one big crazy issue. It makes me study. It makes me go to The Word and find out for myself what it says. It makes me do research. It makes me pray the most heartfelt, needy prayers you’ve ever heard. It makes me humble. And it makes me connect deeply with quotes like this one that my husband ran across today:
“I prayed for faith, and thought that someday faith would come down and strike me like lightening. But faith did not seem to come. One day, I read in the tenth chapter of Romans, ‘Faith comes by hearing, and hearing by the word of God.’ I had closed my Bible and prayed for faith. I now opened my Bible and began to study, and faith has been growing ever since.” – D.L. Moody
Mister Moody, I kinda know how you feel.
This week, I’m gonna take off my black fingernail polish (Yes, black. My husband thinks it’s weird, too.) and put on some red polish – just to remember what love looks like. I’m gonna memorize Psalm 143:10 – and believe that God is leading me forward. I’m gonna open up my Bible and pray that it opens up my heart. All because of those inklings.
Awesome.
Hey Kate. I always try to remember that the opposite of faith isn't doubt – it's certainty.
Think through that a moment and don't worry about the comments in your Bible margins. God can handle those. 🙂
2010 Blessings ~ Rachel
Kate,
I love your story about your friend and her husband. It's exactly an example of an act of love that I want to be intentional about this year.
I also LOVE that you write your doubts in your Bible. God is big enough to answer every doubt, so they're in the right place. I often bury my doubts and that's way less healthy than just handing them over to God.
You keep asking those "WHAT???" questions, girl. That is how God teaches his kids. I'm exactly like that, and I wouldn't have it any other way. God LOVES when we ask questions.
Oh…and the nail polish. Snif. That's priceless.
You are such a precious, precious sister. I hope some day we get to meet in person.
Love,
Sandy
Hi Kate, Loved your thoughts…and can relate…I feel so guilty for having doubts sometimes, but I hang onto that verse that says, "if you have faith as small as a mustard seed you can move mountains." Some mornings I say God, "I'm sorry this is all I have, but it's what I have, and I give it to you…" I feel like the lady in the temple who gave her small amount of money, but it was what she had and God blessed it…
Thanks for your thoughts–I'm enjoying your blog, and glad I came across it.
I too love your inklings. Love the way a verse found you…cool. And I am all about being honest with God about everything, the good, the bad, and the in between.
Did your husband get to work out uninterrupted?
I should have reread my comment but I didn't. Just to say that in the second paragraph I was trying to paraphrase what God just might say to you. Yeah, right!
I love your inklings! My mouth dropped open when I read your words about your friend with the red nail polish. Oh, such love her husband and she share. Ahh!
Kate, I love that you question things. But more importantly you know where to go to find the answers …in the Bible. I can just picture (not really but I like to think I can) watching you Kate and saying something like "there's my Kate. I created her with a good and sound mind and with free choice. I can't wait to see those moments when she really gets it as I know it will stick with her."
That's my paraphrase and not meant to be disrespectful. I just love how you are so real and transparent. You admit your doubts and I think that God loves it when we are truthful and honest with Him. After all, He already knows what we're thinking, right?
Kate, you keep listening to the HS and follow through on those promptings. And what a treasure of a verse to memorize. You keep at it girl. I have such high hopes for you despite the black nail polish. 🙂
Love you,
Debbie