Before I went to bed Sunday night, I hung a collared blue shirt and jean shorts on the knob of his closet. And I went to bed struck by the fact that I would wake up with a kindergartener under my roof.
As my oldest got up Monday morning – I reminded him of his chores, reminded him of the schedule we would pursue each school morning. These first few days – none of it has been a bother. Time shall tell if this attitude will remain as school days add up on the calendar.
We’ll see if my attitude stays the same as well – because I’m not just the Mama with a kindergartener. I’m also Mama…..the Teacher. Or, ‘Teacha’ as my 3 year old calls me these days.
Yes, I have curriculum books littered throughout my house, and two school desks sitting downstairs. There is a world map, a handwriting chart, and a ‘Keep Calm and Carry On‘ sign tacked to our basement wall. (That last one is for the Mama.) The Well-Trained Mind is sitting on my dresser in the bedroom, and prayers for patience are continually leaving my lips.
I’m homeschooling. Help me Lord Jesus.
Never did I ever think that I would do this. Not ever ever ever.
I’m not an academic. I’m not naturally nurturing or patient. I’m not creative or crafty. And I’m super selfish. Not good things to own when you’re thinking about homeschooling. I’ve never felt so inadequate.
But over many months, through many individuals, and through many encounters – God relentlessly prompted me to pursue home education. Right now, anyway.
And here I am – three days in….and I’m shocked over what’s already transpired…..
It seems as if feeling inadequate is the way He wants us sometimes…..most times. It seems as if that is when He shows up and powers right through.
Because the last two days – things have changed. The peace that God is pouring out all over me as I teach – it can’t be scratched out into spiffy little sentences. And there has been a shift of sorts. Not in the kids – but in their Mama. There’s this crazy calm in the very depths of me that can only be given by the One who can peak into those hidden places. Is this….joy? I think so!
There’s blessing in obedience, friends. It’s not always monetary. It’s not always something you can touch with your fingers. It’s a feeling, a knowing – that your smack in the middle of His will. And right there….right there in the center of His hand – that is where joy is found.
When we step out on a limb to do the things the Spirit calls us to – when we forge ahead with what He has for us….even in the wake of opposition and ridicule and question – He’ll show up as soon as you take your first step.
It’s incredible and I wouldn’t trade it for anything.
You wouldn’t either.
Is He calling you to do something that would require you to go outside of yourself? Take the first step…..
He’ll meet you there. And joy will abound.