I have one in the basement, situated on the corner of the hand-me-down couch, watching Paw Patrol, feeling pukey.
I have another one, fur covered, full of energy, running around thinking my whole house is a toilet.
And in all this, I ran out of paper towels.
Thankfully though, I found an unopened pack in the guest bedroom as I rummaged around to find an extra pillow. Disaster avoided. I will buy the bulk package of paper towels next time.
I’m sitting here with you at the dining room table. I don’t usually write here, but this has become one of my favorite rooms of the house. I’ve never had a real dining room before. All these 13 years of marriage, the dining table never got to have its own walls to rest in, so I’m relishing it now.
A lot of discipleship, faith-sharing, and feasting will happen here. Because of that, it feels holy.
In my Monday post, I mentioned to you that I wanted to share a story about the way God had revealed a few sweet truths to me about the way I’m woven. I’m here to punch that out, and I’m praying it increases your faith and speaks to you in some deep and lasting way. Lord let it be.
This story takes place in a tumultuous season of our lives.
My husband was in an all-consuming job, he was counseling couples at our home in the evenings, and doing a myriad of other service-type things that were heavy and steady.
The constant flow of people and responsibility had me worn to the bone. My husband was thriving, finding his calling, making a difference, feeling useful – while I was caving inside. It was difficult.
I wondered why I was so different than my husband. How could he serve and pour out and converse and lead so happily, while I floundered? What was wrong with me? I asked God over and over.
One day going down the road, discussing yet another event we had to participate in, I felt overwhelmed and shaken. And guilty.
So I stared out the window of our gray mini-van and prayed.
God, am I this way because of some miss, or some unfortunate experience, or some flaw, or some weakness? Or am I this way because you made me different? Should I be like my husband in his ability to interact constantly and pour without emptying? Is that how I should be? God! Am I this way by DAMAGE or DESIGN?
Damage or design. Those were my exact words to Him.
In less then a minute, we passed through a busy intersection. I turned my head to the right and saw a large furniture truck stopped at a red light. It said “DIFFERENT BY DESIGN” on it in big black letters.
This sweet spiritual spook crept up in me, and I knew that it was my nod.
Does God always answer in this type of way? Nope.
Are there things that I inhabit that ARE there by damage? Yep.
But needing margin and quiet more often than others isn’t one of them.
I go back to this moment. It carries me. It reminds me, and moves me onward.
The ill one is now sitting on his bean bag chair in the living room, quarantined to a corner to ensure health for the rest of us, but positioned just right to still be able to watch the TV. (A true perk of feeling bad, yes?)
And the furry one is giving us all a break by napping in his crate. Thank you, thank you Lord.
As I step away from the keyboard today, I’m thinking of you. If you’re wondering about your own self – some nuance or bent or leaning that bothers or bewilders you, take this as your cue to ask Him about it. I don’t know when or even if He will send along any kind of response – but you for sure won’t get one if you don’t try.
May the tail end of your week be a revealing one, filled with a few encounters that fill you with faith and speak out your true identity. Praise Him for it all.
I love it when God works in ways such as this, that are so tangible.
Me too! They’re like pats on the head from Heaven. Love it. Have a wonderful day! – Kate 🙂
Sweet Kate,
I resonate ?%!!! Wish we could sit across from each other at your dining room table and share ♥️
DESIGN not DAMAGE ❤️
DIFFERENT by DESIGN ❤️
And maybe…an extroverted introvert ♥️
Miss you tons ♥️❤️♥️
I’d love to have you at my table Cheryl! I miss you LOTS! Thank you for reading and caring and encouraging. You’re a light, my friend! – Kate 🙂
Kate, you uncovered a truth that took many of us much longer to discover. Much wisdom here, along with the by-product of peace that we all seek. And as for being “more like Derek”…one of him is enough!? Love you both and we’re grateful to have you part of our church family.
LOL! Thank you for reading and for sending encouragements. It means so much. Truly! Derek and I feel so blessed to be serving here! I hope you have a fantastic weekend. – Kate 🙂
As you know, if we were all “by design” the same-what kind of mess we would be in. Your words are flowing from God through you “by design”.
Beautiful gift!
Thank you so very much! Enjoy your weekend!! 🙂
I can relate so much to your post. My husband has been involved in traveling ministries, leads our small group and speaks from time to time at different churches. He is an excellent example of following the Lord’s call and being a leader of our home. At times I have found relief in having to stay behind with a sickly child or hiding in the background. I have often wondered what was wrong within my heart. Was I wrong? Was I being a rebel? Was I hindering my husband from being what he has been called to do? Honestly, there have been times of being jealous. Jealous of all the encouraging relationships Matt has with so many different people across the US. Please know I am happy for his friends and how they pray for us as a family and Matt in very honest personal ways. I know I can count on them. I struggled with what was I called to do…I soaked up books, scripture and asked for prayer. I had to find peace in knowing that I was and am called to support my husband. Pouring out in prayer as he leads and prepares messages. Being his wife and watching him lead is truly amazing. I am sure you can relate. ☺️ Thank you for sharing! I’m not the only one who appreciates your posts. You and your family are blessings.
Awesome!! I love when God sends us a message that is so subtle yet obvoius. I am so glad He loves us. And I am always amazed by how He shows us. Thanks for sharing.
Thank you for reading! Enjoy your weekend!
I hear everything you shared, and I’m nodding, yes. I know that you also have so much to offer those around you, the community, the world! It may look different than it does for your husband, but wow, what an impact you are capable of making! Lord, bless and speak and encourage. Thank you for reading and commenting! I hope you have a fine weekend!