Receiving

Some of us need to learn to open our palms out wide for the offering.

There are a good few of us here who need to crank our wrists around, cup hands, and allow others to have the blessing of filling our worlds every now and then.

Some of us are good givers, but wretched receivers.

I’ve been learning lately though, that we need to be able to do both. We need to be able to reach into pockets and spread what’s needed, and at the same time catch what’s being thrown our way, too.

Last night, I got to sit across from the one I wed and eat without interruption. I almost didn’t know how to act. Sitting there, amidst all those other valentine’s, reaching into baskets of chips and dipping them fast into salsas, mariachi band playing table to table, drinks in hands, loud and diverse chatter – my husband and I enjoyed a meal just face to face, heart to heart. Like we used to.

All thanks to a special friend.

She snuck over to my porch last week, squeezed a card into my storm door, and drove off before being noticed. When the card was found, we realized that it was no ordinary card but a gift card – to one of our very favorite Tex-Mex eateries. And she insisted on coming over to babysit while we connected over those fajitas.

A fine friend, eh?

I was so blessed by her generosity and love, yet when I opened the gift I felt almost guilty for even thinking about indulging. I felt timid about taking her up on the offer. I didn’t want to put her out, or take anything from her storehouses, or cost her anything.

But then I remembered that I’ve been trying to twist my palms out and upward – and simply receive what’s being gifted.

It’s been a thing lately.

Just a month ago, one of my favorite families knew that our old couch was on it’s last and final threadbare stretch – so they happily handed over an extra sofa that wasn’t really being used in their new home. It’s in there now, adorned with pillows, perfect for the space we have here.

And there’s a piano sitting just to the left of our dining window, that was joyfully handed on to us last year by a dear friend. My nine year old has soared on that thing.

And there’s another lady we have found ourselves in community with, who sweetly saves up and brings over dinners for us after large events.

And last summer, we got to camp as a family for the first time, on the large property of a very generous Texas business man.

And last May, we found ourselves sleeping high in a fine hotel in London, all thanks to an exceedingly generous couple we know who wanted to provide for our UK travels.

Another couple, along farther in wisdom and years, is always quick to pour out kind encouragement just when we need it most.

Mentors in Ohio, calling and checking and praying so faithfully.

Family has also been so giving through the years. But even that, has been hard for me. Even when one of our parents blesses us somehow, I have this twinge inside that says I shouldn’t receive it.

Is this pride? Is it not wanting to owe anything? Is it a resolve that happened while I was young? Is it having a desire to always be on the flip side?

Because if I’m being honest, that’s where I’m most comfortable.

I was raised by two very charitable people. It came out in different ways for my mom and dad, but I got a front row seat to their benevolence, and I’ve always wanted to mimic their example in this.

As much as we have been able to do that, we have. It’s been a joy every time. But for some reason, God has placed us here in this pocket – of pastoring, budgeting, renting – living a life I never thought I’d live. But he has provided abundantly, and has taught me much about humbling myself for the showering.

Because it’s the same with Him, yes?

There’s nothing we can do to earn, repay, or offset what Christ offers. His salvation is a free gift that we simply reach out and receive.

And it’s all baffling.

I’m bowing my head here this morning, and sending up thanks for the sweetness that’s been shown by God and His people.

We work, we put forth, we offer up, we discipline, we don’t expect, we look for ways to pour out and share and bless- but at the same time we accept and stoop and take hold of what others are offering. There’s a teaching and a humbleness that comes from this. Don’t reject it. Don’t rob others of the joy that’s felt when they bestow blessing. Don’t be too proud to cup those palms for what’s being poured out into you.

Take it. Be thankful. Be ever faithful. And be ready for when it’s your turn, again.

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