I’m writing with tear-streaked cheeks today, y’all.
And I feel like a baby about it.
My Mama and Daddy came for a visit this past week – and they just pulled out of our driveway to head back to the airport. Pretty soon they will be on a big silver bird flying back to the Mother Ship….also known as Texas.
As my parents were leaving today – I tried my very very best to be a big girl. I really did. But as I watched my parents load up their rent car – that feeling came over me. Remember that feeling? The one you felt when your Mom walked out of your classroom on the first day of kindergarten? The one you felt when that mean girl on the playground called you “scar-face” after you returned to school from having chicken pox? The one that turns your nose red and makes your eyes all glassy as you try to hold back the tears? Yeah. That one. So as my Dad hugged me tight – I turned into that 5 year old girl again. Except this time the girl crying was 25.
Why was it so much harder to watch them leave this time? Maybe its because I’m expecting. Maybe its because our house is completely torn up due to some major remodeling that’s going on. Maybe it’s worries about work and finances. Maybe I’ve just become a big baby. Or maybe it is because I’m realizing just how much I need loved ones in my life. Yeah. Maybe I’m realizing that putting up with my Mom’s Dr.Pepper addiction and my Dad’s weird obsession with cinnamon scented candles could be worth it just to have them close. So worth it. And maybe I’m realizing that I’m not as strong as I thought I was – that its okay to need people. Hmmmm.
I don’t know where life will take my little family. I don’t know if we will stay put, return to the Homeland or move all over the country. But I do know that something is breaking inside of me from having to say “bye” – and it isn’t just my heart. I feel like the ” I have to act like I’m strong and can handle it all without any help” characteristic is crumbling. And that’s not such a bad thing.
Yes. I sit here in this computer chair feeling like that little girl who used to sit on the porch waving bye to her Daddy leaving for a business trip. A little lonely. A little sad. Red-nosed and teary eyed. But also feeling blessed – knowing that the people flying away on the jet plane are a MUCH NEEDED gift – and that no amount of Dr. Pepper and cinnamon scented candles could ever erase that.
For all of you other Texans that I miss so much – please know that I feel like I need every last crazy one of you – yep – every last crazy one 🙂
“No body has ever before asked the nuclear family to live all by itself in a box the way we do. With no relatives, no support, we’ve put it in an impossible situation.” – Margaret Mead
“When you look at your life the greatest happiness’s are family happiness’s.” – Joyce Brothers
So glad I found your blog. Congratulations on your pregnancy. I will be back later to read more.
Hope you will stop by and see me. Though I am relativity new to blogging, I am loving all my new friends.
I am giving away my first EVER BLOG PRIZE.
I have a gift basket business and it is the most requested gift over the last 15 years.
From the comments I have already received, appears to be something a little different and something anyone could use. I have been so touched by the comments that I have decided to give 2 boxes . They will be the $100 deluxe size.
I really do want to bless people!!! I want my blog to encourage others. I have decided that giving is life at its BEST. The drawing will be Saturday!
I'm sending a TEXAS SIZED HUG your way! I love you!
I'm with all the other gals….go ahead and cry! I am sure it actually blesses your momma and daddy's hearts to know that their girl still needs them. It makes you feel good to be loved and needed. And how much you love them probably means more than all the Dr.Pepper and cinnamon candles in the world to them!
Blessings, sweet friend!
HUGS,
K
Oh Kate, I'm sending you a big hug today. I'm grateful you have family that loves and adores each other and misses each other when you're you're apart.
Chalk it up to hormones and let yourself have a good cry girlfriend,I think it's a great release. Treat yourself well today.
Oh, I wish I could send you a big hug over the internet! Go ahead and have a good cry. It's good to get it out. I'm sure your hormones are raging with the pregnancy and so many changes and uncertainties. How precious that you miss your mom's Dr. Pepper and your dad's scented candles. Too cute! Hang in there and pray. It's how I get through each day.
What a sweet post. Im 55 and sometimes I am still this way.
I can totally understand how you feel. It feels good to recognize that we do need our family and friends. I came to that realization more than ever when I moved to England.
Thankfully we can write or call, or share a blog to stay close until we meet again.
Congratulations on your pregnancy. I didn't realize you were expecting. The hormonal changes can make you emotional, too.